feeling

Still waiting for that day,
patiently be faithful to you,
naturally happens,
i never asked for this feeling.

i like you,
i don't know how to confess it,
our friendship means whole world to me,
sometimes, i want it more
but sometimes, it's an adequate,

i wish,
i love him more than he loves her,
no other than him,
he such a good guy
that i have ever met,
i should forget about him,
i am so flattered to be his friend,
i really appreciated it,
and its enough.


"love is not something that always be wonderful feeling. And it is not always involving by two person,when you love someone that you cannot have them in your life,you have to stop torturing yourself to forget him. You know yourself. You know you don't need anything or anyone to get rid of that feeling,so just don't do it. When the time comes,that will be end. And maybe you won't notice. "

JAN 12,2011

miserable

I can never love someone else,

my heart is stuck on you,

i know you'll never be mine,

i hardly to forget,

but..

it seems doesn't work,

if the "abracadabra" really works,

i really want to use it to delete you out of mind.

i can't easily fall in love with someone,

once i did,

i am really in trouble,

there has nothing can help me out,

i have been trapped,

by my own heart because in love with wrong person.

if one fine day comes,

which you are already mine,

i really have to slap my face to awake

that it might be happens in dream.

i don't know,

which is worst,

either you,

or my uncontrollable heart,

nothing is more miserable than feel this way

i still don't know when and how is it going to be end.

NOV 30,2009

 

option

thunderbolt...
it's too loud,
frightened,
all you just want to do,
is lay down under the blanket,
there has two option for you;

either,
close your eyes,
when the wind blow your face,
hug your body,
when its getting colder,

or,
stop the fear,
have your cup of tea,
read your favourite book,
play the sounds of the sea.

pathetic wishes

-travel somewhere  alone
-meet new people
-cup of tea at night
-slow songs
-write a poems
-favourite books
-take a lot of pictures
-cold weather
-long walks

and enjoy all those things alone

but....

can i wish for being loved by someone and do all those stuff together with him like every single day..can i ?

" It take times"

" I am waiting for that day"

" Don't hope too much,you'll get tired"

" How can i ? I just want to feel the happiness of being loved and feel safe when i am with someone...."

where

the moment when you're sitting alone listen to slow songs and appear this couple laughing,fighting,staring each other and do silly things in front of you. You were just put on fake smiles like you're really happy to see their happiness. On that time,all you want to do is lock up yourself in the dark room and crying silent tears and asking yourself "where on earth the day that you have been waited for?" 

unspoken

Sometimes ,i forgot how to smile. There's only pseudo smile. If i could buy the most beautiful and sincere smiles i would rather buy it than the other stuff. Sometimes i didn't actually tell what i am feel and i didn't tell what i want. Unspoken feelings that nobody would even knows or understand. i just let it keep inside.

who the fuck are you

" her sister took care of him,
i saw it jealousy,
yes i'm pathetic,
his sister went out,
i lie down beside,
he shocked when i hold tight his hand,
i pretend to sleep,
that safe feelings,
that calm feelings,
was too undescribable,
he holds me in his arm,
i slept in wonderful night.

next day,
we went out,
he stares my eyes,
i can see that beautiful eyes
that blue eyes,
that messy hair,
that smiles,
i know i'm still alive,
but barely breathe. "

i dreamt about this guy,
i don't know who he is
i can feel the warm
when we're holding hand,
i still can feel his touch,
i still can feel
when he holds me into his arm,
who are you ?

judging

sometime i just want to go far away from people that i know. 

i want to start a new life at

new places,

meet new people that absolutely don't know who i am,

so they won't know about my past..

people around are just annoying,
they keep judging..
why do they really bother about me,

they might be realize or just pretending not realize that

every people has two sides..

the one side that they want to show,

and the other side they just want to hide it..

people nowadays only care about others weaknesses,
and talks behind about it,
assuming without asking it like they know everything,
while they are not !
just mind your business and
don't bother about others.

come back, will you

eventhough you're not alone but you still need someone to be beside you all day long

someone..he used to be mine. I miss him right now.where the world i should hide this feelings?

every night,my tears down and i can't stop it.i miss the moment when you said goodnight

 the corner of my room,i crying silent tears. I keep staring at my phone wishing that you'll appear...

i feel so miserable. There's no you. I'm pretty sure that you still love me and i bet you'll come back but where are you?

you,
come back... 

i had so many things to tell you.. you're everything to me. I'm so tired of being sad. I'm not ready to give up but i'm ready to forget our bad past,let's begin anew task dear and stay forever...

useless

quiet tough for someone to walk alone without destination,

when there's nothing to think

nothing to do 

when you feel your life was an empty.then you have no idea why something you never thought happened to you.you know.. ?when something you try to avoid to be happen was happened.when something you plan perfectly was useless now .you try really hard to act normal but it really hurts inside.and there's nobody know about your feelings.keep praying to stay strong keep believing that "something happens for a reason" are the good things to be happen.