Some days the thought of you have vanished. You completely gone and I feel ever better than before. But somehow some days, there is you lingering around to remind me that there were you before today. I have to go deeper in thoughts on how we end up together, the places we had been spending our time, all the smallest things like you caressed my hand while you are driving, or when you covered me with your sweater while I pretended to sleep. At this point, I just remember, the shirt you gave me is still hanging on my closet. And I can see it from my bed. If we are better together, we would be planning on our future, or maybe not. Your comfort is what I have been missing. I have to create a scenario in my head where you're comforting when I get sick. The fact I will be still wearing the clothes that I wore, going out with you. Or the road we took, it is sickening to my soul. And I miss the you that I first met, If we could begin again, I hope we could do it right, better you and better me. How painful it is not possible.